Self-Awareness Part ‘3’ - It’s Good to Ask “Myself”

We covered in the last part how to friendly talk to “Myself”. I want to thank you for the feedback I personally received for this series. Much Obliged.

While going forward, the most essential thing to know is what is fruitful to ask myself and why. Let us see these simple questions to understand them stepwise.

So, the first important thing is to know “What actually my feeling is”. The human brain is not straightforward and emotions are combined in the form of ‘a mesh’. It is not easy to separate them and name them on many occasions but this exercise in Step One makes things much simpler and much clearer to go ahead with. So, “Name the emotion”? What it is.

Once it is known that “what”- the next query is “why”.

While asking myself why I am feeling like this, I may also get more than one answer, but the door to go ahead is focusing on the most vital “why” and eliminating others that are not that important. That is so very critical to know. I cannot insist on this one enough. This is the key to solving the riddle just after simplifying the mesh of emotions that were tied together.

ALLAH Subhanahu wa Ta’ala asked us in the Quran “Do they not concentrate and think about themselves?” The prime part of ourselves is our brain, the brain power that no one can ignore. At Step Two Let us practice these questions in our daily lives to make them part of our routines.

The first dealing with any given matter at any given time should be done “inside me” before it goes outside, either through my expression, body language or by my words.

This third step is as essential as the previous two. It is done by asking myself the most appropriate plan of action “How I am going to deal with it”

The plan of action deal that I made with myself will be important in the long term. This Step Three wholly depends upon my wishes and my way to take over the matter, until it is aligned with the rules ALLAH has set for me. It should not hurt myself or anyone else in the short term or long term as far as I can take care, I need to do my best.

To agree with Myself will save time and energy. If I am consistent and clear about steps 1,2, and 3, then my new step is just a matter of putting together all of them. The Fourth Step is to keep a check on my satisfaction and agreement with my dealing plan.

Before we go to the final step, in the final part of our series, we need to take time and practice. Let us start doing it daily to learn the process. Only initially starting it and making it a part of the routine will be a bit difficult but then it becomes easier with time, patience, and practice. The significance of this practice is many fold but the best thing to happen is a very practical, clear, and focused approach to our lives and decisions. We hope it will ultimately make lives simpler, by the grace of ALLAH - may He be praised and exalted.

Kintsugi - The Golden Repair

Kintsugi is the ancient Japanese way of repairing broken ceramics with a glue of gold. The golden color beautifies the visual of break and repair. This art is long been synonymous with the art of healing and repairing the hearts.

Raha is a cheerful girl and she is beloved by all the family due to her gentle manners. Her elder sister who lives separately in her home after marriage often gets comparisons and questions why she is always favored in the family. During this process of sibling jealousy, one day she verbally abused her in front of the whole family which was very shocking and embarrassing for sincerely loving and caring Raha. It was difficult to believe and a weird experience for her which she had never gone through before. More traumatic was it came from her beloved sister. She defined it as an extremely unbelievable event of life.

Repair of the human heart when it is broken is often handed over to passing time, which is partially true. But the human mindset has a bigger role in the repair.

The urge to get a positive repair out of the painful breakdown is important.

Honestly honoring our personality breaks is an essential art everyone should learn for a better life. Honoring it by the courage to own it. It doesn't mean to openly show it off in public but to own it inside ourselves.

The first thing that comes to mind with any bad event happens is "This cannot happen to me"

This is our innocent response to an early shock. The answer to this is: ‘It can happen to anyone, and "I am no exception".’

Once we face that "It has happened to me" the next phase immediately starts. The patience of the first suffering hits harder and has a greater reward. We need to deliberately make ourselves eligible for this reward, by remembering ALLAH's rahmah and His greater will hidden somewhere in the matter.

The next step is "the repair". Something which brings us more value. Joining together piece by piece with courage and bravery is that one thing that gives us value more than gold. That golden tinge of breakage lines made of patience and resilience. Don't forget that ALLAH loves the people of Sabr and the people of Ihsaan. This is the time to keep a keen belief in ALLAH’s justice and leave things in His hands, minimizing very consciously any negative thoughts and wishes in mind. It takes effort and I would repeat, it does not happen by itself but with continuous efforts to keep negative thoughts minimum.

Forgiving is an essential step in healing. It is about forgiving ourselves and others.

ALLAH commands us to:

- Let it go without even pointing it out with grace - (Afoo).

- Overlook it, turn the page, and not ever repeat it (to taunt about it). - (Safaho).

- To forgive for whatever greater mistake happened. (Ghafiro).

As our Loving Rab hides and erases our sins and continues to be kind to us even at the worst of our repeated sins.

Raha’s sister regrets his ugly words and jealous thoughts which shaitan installed into her brain. Next time she kindly talked to her and Raha behaved like nothing happened. Raha cleaned her heart with conscious efforts and continuous prayers that may ALLAH keep her heart clear of negative thoughts and emotions against her sister. Life goes on and the positivity of the Quran continues to make life easier. Al Hamdu lillah.

Self Awareness Part ‘2’ Being Kind to Myself

Let us reconnect the story of “My Dear Self” and the quest of knowing myself for bigger benefits which we considered in part one of this series. The last thing we concluded was “Knowing ALLAH more, remembering Him, and going closer to Him will make us closer to our own selves. That will make us more aware of ourselves.”

Being a star creature in ALLAH’s created beautiful world, it is important to know how I deal with myself. How good my relationship with myself, broadly depends upon :

1. How much do I respect myself?

2. How much and Why I am Important?

ALLAH has honored us by simply making us humans. He took careful care of us throughout and no harm reached us until He allowed and decided. He blessed us and gave us a brain that can work wonders when focused on the right way. This respect is for every single human as a baseline, without any addition in it for any differences we have in our lives. So I am respected in this universe of ALLAH.

This does not mean that we are respected when we don’t respect anything. Our conduct is important and every respect comes with responsibility. This respect comes with the weighted responsibility of understanding ourselves, our Rab, the secrets of this life, and that we need to secure our good place in the next life by using this life-duration with care.

Not only I am respected but I am important in this universe of ALLAH as well.

I am important as I have an assigned role. I am not created and sent here without purpose. That purpose I carry makes me important.

If I don’t bother in my life about why ALLAH made me and what is my purpose, instead I am busy in PlayStation, filling my wallet with credit cards, or overloading my wardrobes with dresses and shoes, I am the defaulter tool of this universe. ALLAH will still tolerate me being my Loving Rab and He keeps on giving me chances and signs to make me realize my importance. But think about someone sitting on an assigned task role to complete it in a limited period, and he is not doing that, instead, he is only doing haphazard things around the actual task, will this be something likable for any honest and responsible person? We would say this is corruption.

So, when I take my respect and give myself the right importance for the right reason then it is much needed to be kind to myself. I deserve softness and I deserve polite words before I give them to others.

Usually, many of us don’t give ourselves time and space which is equal to building up an invisible bundle of heavy rocks over our heads. That burden will keep on increasing in weight.

I will be patient with myself and will talk in friendly words.

How do I talk to my dear friend with love?

Yes, we don’t say fancy words to each other when we are longtime dear friends but our tone is friendly and infused with an essence of love naturally.

I need to use the exactly same tone for myself, with a lighter mood, space, and flexibility instead of rudeness, stiffness, and cruelty.

Let us practice from today onward a friendly quiet “talk to myself”.

Let it be brief and charming. How our brains get enlightened and feel lighter when we talk to a beloved friend.

Likewise, ask yourself softly “Hey! How was the day” and say some words of encouragement to your sweet self.

Until we get back to you with the next part :)

In sha ALLAH.

Known yet Neglected - Vitamin ‘D’

In this era of awareness, we all know about the importance of vitamin D in relation to bone health. But vitamin D is much more than this. It is involved in all system maintenance and function in our body.

Let us see briefly what difficulties we can get when we are low on this master key ingredient.

Bone aches ie musculoskeletal achiness - can be felt as muscular cramps, pain in bones, muscle or group of muscles fixed pain, nerve pain, neck pain & back pain

Unexpected break in bone with little fall or hit.

Numbness, pins, and needles, increased pain as expected from minor hurt.

Generalized tiredness and feeling of fatigue, if it’s not less water in the body (dehydration), more heat in the surroundings, then it is most likely “D”.

Dizziness, unsteady feelings, feelings of falling on the side or the back (without actually falling), in an otherwise healthy person.

A type of hearing difficulty ( that occurs without nerve damage in younger people).

The shakiness of hands (called tremor).

Foggy brain , not sharp as normally it is, not as smart as it was.

We must give a good amount of attention to taking enough vitamin D in our food. Most of the common food items containing it like eggs and milk, give us the supply but it is less than what is required. Most of the items rich in it like cod liver, salmon, and tuna are not commonly eaten in the daily diet in most areas of the world. Many countries are coming up with the idea of “D” fortified foods. It is a good way to deal with this dilemma. Where it is not available or not proven enough, the last way to deal with it is with supplements.

Two great things in recent times, we got more aware of are enemies of supplying us enough “D”

1- Widespread use of good Sunblock creams/sprays/lotions: Direct sunlight is usually needed to get enough Ultraviolet light B. Leave some part of the skin to make power “D” in some days.

2- Very low-fat diet: Some communities and some patients having high cholesterol levels get into the practice of an almost no-fat diet. Cholesterol in our skin gets converted into a usable form of vitamin D. If there is no fat available, the sun is not going to help us.

Moderation is the key to all matters of life.

Self Awareness Part ‘1’ (Raising our EQ Series)

A new topic within the psychology side of “The Stronger Momin” is starting called

“ Raising Our EQ series”.

In this series of articles, we will discuss the basics of emotional intelligence in a friendly and easy-to-understand way.

We will know how raising EQ is important to make our lives easier, more comfortable, and more successful.

We are going to find out how it is defined in our sources of guidance ie The Quran and The Sunnah of Muhammad ﷺ.

Self-awareness is gaining awareness about myself. Let’s begin this amazing journey of meeting myself with ﷽

Self-awareness is the first step in understanding emotional intelligence and all smart dealings in life.

What is that: knowing myself,

being aware of who I am?

what I feel at any specific time and matter.

How I feel around certain people and certain conditions.

Knowledge of how I react to certain circumstances and peoples’ behaviors.

And how to be better?

The positive effects of knowing myself are not limited to myself. This is the simple answer to the thought that comes to mind that self-awareness may be something leading to self-centredness or self-obsession. That is not true for sure. Self-awareness is a journey of knowledge full of satisfaction, leading to a contented person, further into a happy and contented society in a longer go.

So the story of my dear self is not starting here but coming from My Creator, My always present Rab. Every beautiful creation is recognized and known by the creator.

Who knows better about the creation than who has created? We often underestimate how deeply ALLAH knows us. ALLAH said in the Quran about His knowledge of what is even more hidden than a secret. Did we notice? How deep? It is absolutely the same for ALLAH subhanahu wa ta’ala: we are loud in the talk, we are whispering, or we just think it deeper in our mind’s corner. How close He is with us. and why not it will be? The soul our body carries belongs purely to ALLAH, He knows us more clearly, without confusion, than we know ourselves.

Knowing that ALLAH knows everything about us in depth is important in the journey of knowing the self. How it is related? The matter is totally relatable. Once again our beloved book helps us in understanding this equation.

So, forgetting ALLAH will make us forget ourselves. (May ALLAH never make us among those, aameen)

Going far from ALLAH will make us distant from our own souls.

Knowing ALLAH more, remembering Him, and going closer to Him will make us ……

closer to our own selves. That will make us more aware of ourselves.

Is it not the same we are looking for?

Cold and Flu Diet

As we reach the corner of the year, it's time to say goodbye to our cotton clothes, cold juices and iced lattes, as we pull out our body warmers, and heaters and make grocery lists to prepare some steamy comfort foods.

For some of us living in sunny countries, the winters are warmly welcomed (finally goodbye, scorching summers! alhamdulillah), while the rest of the world gears up for the freezing months to come.

No matter where we live, winters are often accompanied by allergies, cold, cough and flu. Apart from pulling out our coats and mufflers from the closet to keep ourselves warm, we can make some dietary changes as well to boost our immunity and give our body some Tender Loving Care during the colder months to come.

Winters need an additional boost of energy in our body systems so that they can fight well with all these uninvited guests accompanied by the cold season.

Here is the essential power list of cold days

immunity boosting foods

Despite all our efforts to ward off the flu, often the body gives up the fight and is invaded by the flu viruses. So what to do next? no worries !! let's look at energetic yet soothing foods during the 3-5 down days.

Friendly Foods in Flu

1. Broth or Soup: you may remember grandma always recommending hot soups and broths during winters which we often did not like as a child. Let me tell u, grandma was absolutely right. Broths and soups are amazing sources of proteins and vitamins. They provide fluids and electrolytes to the body which support dehydration due to flu ( that weird flowy nose ahhhh).

2. Citrus Fruits: are a natural and healthy source of vitamin C. We all know that vitamin C helps boost our immunity. Having fruit instead of juice helps reduce acidity and additionally adds fibre to our diet which helps promote gut health.

3. Vitamin D: is not just essential for our bone health but it also contributes to the functioning of the immune system. Cod liver oil, fish, dairy, oat/ soy / almond milk are some good sources.

4. Greens: greens are a good source of vitamins A, C, E and K that boost our immunity and help our body recover faster. Spinach, kale and broccoli are some easy ones to include.

5. Spices: adding spices like cayenne pepper, cinnamon and cloves to our food not only makes it taste better (especially when our taste buds give up during flu) they also provide certain anti-inflammatory benefits and help relieve cold and flu symptoms.

6. Turmeric and Black Pepper: these two should always be consumed together. Pepper contains piperine that helps our body absorb curcumin in the turmeric. Without it most of it cannot be absorbed by our body and go to waste. Piperine and curcumin have many health benefits including their ability to reduce inflammation and help our body recover faster.

7. Ginger Tea: ginger root has been a very popular herbal medicine for many centuries in many traditions. It helps soothe a sore throat, relieves cough, helps in decongestion, aids digestion, reduces acid reflux and nausea and reduces inflammation.

Not so Friendly Foods in Flu

1. Fatty Foods: fried foods, fast foods, and baked goods give us empty calories. They make us feel fuller and do not provide us with any nutrition.

2. Refined Sugars: avoid foods high in refined sugars as they are a culprit in aiding inflammation. High levels of inflammation make it harder for the body to recover from infections.

3. Processed Foods: they are high in salt and saturated fats and lack nutrition. High salts may lead to dehydration.

4. Dairy Sisters: milk and milk products can be consumed in limited quantities. Milk contains lactose. And even if one is not lactose intolerant sometimes it may give a laxative effect during flu and further exhaust the body. When they are taken in moderation, they are helpful as rich in vitamins and protein.

5. Fruit Juices: juices have higher sugars and are acidic. Opt for a fresh fruit instead as it has added fibre benefits.

And here is the magical recipe to take care of low days rest time when we want to sleep and the virus wants us to stay awake.

Training Our Own Reactions

The best gift we get for our lifetime is our training for which we always remain thankful to our parents whatever good habits they made in our initial training period, bless us for a long time.

ALLAH as our loving Rab gives us the best guidance in the Quran to train ourselves to be better humans and better momin. Not only this but He sent a perfect human example to us as our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ who was best in his morals and day-to-day behaviours.

Self-training and improving ourselves over time through our own learning efforts is something ALLAH loves us to do, especially when we do it only for ALLAH. Let’s help ourselves and others to be good Muslims to rise and shine as a moderate and balanced Ummah.

Most of the people among us are busy and have demanding jobs. Time is a precious entity for all busy people. Research says the most time wasting happens when our brain gets upset and is unable to focus on work rather it focuses on something least important & more disturbing. Sometimes it is rude talk that we listen to or face or talk. Interestingly, science has agreed that listening to rude talk (as a non-target person) is less destructive than facing it, and facing rude talk (as a target person) is less destructive than talking about it.

The next valid question is how to prevent it. Let me say it’s not an easy task. Many of us tried calming ourselves on some heated moments but simply we can’t. It’s really easy to read an article on anger management etc but what we call rude talk is not always a part of anger, it can be a habit, it can be otherwise, and just a reaction. Our talk today is the part of speech called ’ Reaction.’

So, as we saw in this illustration, it is not looking simple. Not at all.

If I deepen my understanding of the “Science of Reaction” my knowledge may increase but the target will not be achieved. So, let’s ask our focus question. How to deal with a reaction? It can be a reaction (answer/response) to a heated conversation, verbal abuse, or something unexpected and sudden, what to do when such things happen. What is called an appropriate response?

The most important is to 1. let it pass!! pass that moment, the solution is: Experts say: count 1,2,3,4,5,6. Once you get this in practice, you can use that moment more fruitfully as saying Allahu Akbar 5 times. The benefit of it will be twofold, one is to pass that moment and the second one is to remind you that Big is only ALLAH and you are not.

2. Name your emotion is a good idea before showing any reaction, isn't it better to be clear about what you say, in yourself before giving it away to another person? That hazy thoughts and feelings in situations of possible bursts are always better to be clear. Ask yourself clearly, what you feel, angry, sad, embarrassed, disappointed, or something else.

The next step is 3. to express, now if you feel it’s good to express at this time, do express it, better to be as much in a polite way as possible. The time you have taken already will at least calm down that bursting danger.

Now it's okay both to express if appropriate or delay it for anytime sooner if you feel appropriate. but the need for expression is always there, 4. Don't collect your emotions in the backyard of your brain, it is an even greater red flag than you have just avoided and will be a bigger bomb burst. Do express your disagreement, anxiety, and objection in the softer possible way. Balance of emotion is the target to achieve with time and practice but the least expected is to 5. avoid shouting at any cost. Do you know what our Loving Rab said about the loud voices, in the Quran? It is said in Surat Al Luqman which pictures the absolutely beautiful advice of a wise father to his son, in words of ALLAH subhanahu ta’ala. The beauty of guidance at its best, Alhamdulillah.

Since now in this exercise, the time of rage has passed and you are a bit cooler now, the brain has started again to work, Alhamdulillah. So remember when you rethink the whole scenario, 6. give space to yourself and others in front. Give an equal chance to both sides as humans. Humans are emotional machinery and can err, can be right or wrong at any time, and are made of mud an extract of clay. Did you see the mud, if you write something on it, it can be erased with some work, it can be reshaped, and can be made new several times. Why can’t we be made of mud humans, 7. own our emotions with responsibility, and try to forgive ourselves and others with a kind heart. Why do we forget at every heated conversation or tough time, before being unkind that we belong to and are made up by the Loving Hands of ar Rahman and ar Raheem whose kindness is His first introduction?

Last but not least is also very important for a peaceful mind. 8. Relieve the stress every day, don't collect this garbage in your precious brain, this brain is to collect valuables like the love of ALLAH, remembrance of ALLAH and His Book & ultimately love of humanity.

So, Muslims have this unique wonderful opportunity to channel and relieve emotional stresses 5 times a day in salat, Stand in front of ALLAH, forget everything else, practice the best possible mindfulness, and focus on "I am standing in front of my loved ones and Kind Rab" alhamdulillah, best feeling ever and it is the best form of meditation.

At the end of the salat meeting, do prayers, ask help from ALLAH, ask Him to be a better one who loves all humans, cry out your anxieties in front of that Ghaffar uz zunoob (forgiver of sins) and Sattar ul Ayoob (hide to all faults) Rab. He is definitely there to help.

Dates - The Overlooked Fruit

Dates are very popular among Muslim households during Ramadan. We all love to break our fasts with dates as a Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Mohammedﷺ. Our fatoor table is always graced with a bowl of this delicious and nutritionally packed “superfood” throughout the month.

However, once Ramadan is over, the leftover dates are often lying on our kitchen counters and then slowly make their way towards the last row in our pantries where they are completely forgotten about.

Here are some of the reasons we should be eating dates not just in Ramadan, but all year long.

Health benefits of date fruit

1. Dates promote heart health: dates are rich in antioxidants and fiber. Fiber binds itself with cholesterol and prevents its absorption into our blood stream. This helps in stopping the cholesterol’s fatty deposits from building up in our arteries, which helps in reducing the risk of heart diseases.

2. Aids in gut health: dates are a rich source of prebiotics (food for good bacteria in our gut) such as polyphenols. Regular consumption of dates promotes the growth of the beneficial bacteria and help in improving our gut health.

3. Help treat anemia: dates are a very good source of plant based iron. They also contain vitamins, protein and calcium. All of these nutrients help in improving iron levels in our body and maintain hemoglobin levels.

4. Boosts energy: dates are high in natural sugars. They are an amazing source of ‘good carbs’ mainly fructose and glucose. Carbohydrate is the main fuel source of our muscles. Having 2-3 dates will give us a burst of instant energy.

5. Relieves constipation: the fiber in dates helps in healthy bowel moments, relieving the symptoms of constipation. Dates also have natural laxative properties that helps in relieving chronic constipation with regular consumption.

Important points to remember

As we know by now there are a number of health benefits of regularly consuming dates. However, we have to remember that there is no food that has no side effects when over consumed.

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah رضى الله عنه that the prophet Mohammed ﷺ said, “Be moderate, for there is no one among you who will be saved by his deeds. Not even me. Unless Allah encompasses me with mercy and grace from him”.

It is recommended to take 1-2 or max 3 dates every day. Preferably every morning, empty stomach, to gain the maximum benefits of this fruit and do not overconsume it.

Overconsumption of dates can lead to stomach ache, headache and diarrhea. Also it should be avoided by people who have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and kidney disease patients. Diabetics can also enjoy dates with keeping good control of their sugar levels. It is also an ideal choice while they get in low sugar state.

Rest of us can enjoy the benefits of this nutritionally packed deliciousness all year long.

About Our Author

Fatima is an absolute inspiration for those devoted females who at first worked hard for their studies and professional dreams, but they did not get to perform long in their admired professional setup.

Instead, they prioritise home & the noble job to raise their kids under their best training institution.

Team TLN take this chance to convey a glad congratulations to all those females who sacrifice their high career dreams and yet they are doing their best where they are, managed not to get negative after ongoing sacrifices. Rather they choose to do ihsaan knowing that ALLAH loves the people of ihsaan. إن اللهَ يُحِّبُ المُحْسِنِين

We warmly welcome Fatima joining us in her own field of "Nutrition" and looking forward to her amazing work with us.

(Team TLN)

To Value the Cognitive Diversity

The cognitive diversity is a blessing made by ALLAH for us. Imagine a world full of similar thinking and doing people, bad with bad, hate in the reflection of hate. Life will not only be boring but we won’t get flexibility and effective working solutions.

Let's meet Rita who has difficulty managing with her family as she thinks she is very different than her family members. She is a working professional with no issues coping with colleagues. She belongs to a well educated family, her 2 brothers are successful in professional fields, one sister who is stay home full time mom of 2 beautiful kids.

But Rita thinks that her family doesn't match her at all. She has a problem with mental caliber of siblings. Parents are aged so being old school is okay for them, but siblings? She thinks her sister is a total failure so she got divorced and now just sitting at home. The brothers are way too simple to understand even a good joke.

We usually read about diversity at workplace, but are family members not diverse. They actually are. With respect to cognitive diversity, we get to see siblings with no similarities among them at many times.

Unfortunately despite of knowing the family unit is the most important unit of society, we don't work on these closest relations. Good news is that presence of thought diversity doesn't mean "no Love", it should actually mean the opposite but how?

Rita's all family evenings end on bitter taste, sometimes with her taunts and resulting fight with sister, other times at cold looks. At times, she seriously thinks that she may be the adopted one in family.

This keep on happening until she met Maria. Rita likes the friendly and soft nature of her new work friend. Soon they become closer. At the occasion of her birthday Maria invited Rita at home. Here she met her 1 year younger to her, means 24 years old brother Karim and her dad. (Small ideal looking lovely family…….. ahhh, Rita thought)

The party was going great when suddenly Karim started to shout and lost temper on bursting of a balloon. He was saying “the blue balloon”, “it was his balloon” and he kept on repeating the phrase for a long time. Maria was very calm and softly dealing with brother, she did not hide him, nor be unduly apologetic or embarrassed for what happened. It was a small gathering and most people seems to be aware and okay with the event, except the new friend. ( how mad !!!! Rita was thinking )

Acceptance is the first step :

Later Maria told Rita that her brother Karim is under treatment for ADHD. Since he is much better so family is safely encouraging him to be part of small close people’s gatherings. It rarely happens that he get such episode as he has improved a lot. ( Rita doesn't agree though but who bothers )

Maria told that she loves her brother very dearly, much more than the other brother who is becoming a doctor, who is living in hostel and remains very busy in studies.

Rita thought "how she can love a mentally unstable brother than a brilliant and bright medical schooler".

After 2 months from that, Maria gifted Rita small beautifully handmade handicrafts, She lovingly told Rita it is made by Karim. Maria showed her that she is marketing those cutely designed items at Karim's Instagram page, which Maria made and handles with him. People especially the kids of community loves Karim due to his colourful uniquely designed bags, shoes and decoration pieces. He started to gets very good income, so now he is more motivated and doing well with his work.

The acceptance Karim got from her elder sister were the best support to make him an independent & confident person. Despite of his diverse thought process, he is capable of something beautiful. Everyone is capable in his/her diverse & unique way. Now it is the time to accept it.

Truly respecting others , how?

By respecting the differences of thought process, which we call cognitive diversity.

There was a time when people consider every mental difference as madness. More shameful is, they feel easy to abuse these differences verbally, sometimes by taunts , other times by calling jokes and names on them, without realising the unique capacities.

Madness is actually, letting to waste, these diverse talents which ALLAH subhahu ta'ala has bestowed on every single individual.

It is time to respect and value differences as they are made by ALLAH

ALLAH gave us clear instructions in Surat ul Hujarat.

Train yourself gradually for a better tolerance :

Rita learned from all this gradually, by observing Maria's supporting attitude towards her brother. Now she has a different direction of vision too. Naturally the process was gradual but her attitude with her siblings improved. She started to realise that, the tasty packed lunches at work and dinners at home which she enjoys without considering any thanks, were made by her not doing anything sister at home. She has a talent in cooking though she was not good at college.

Keep your focus in right direction:

Each son and daughter of Adam is equally honoured, this respect is given to us from our loving Rab. It doesn't need any approval from others. Also it doesn't need high degrees and superior designations. Love and respect others as they are, they are made diverse yet respectful by ALLAH. Isn't that enough for people of ar Rahman.

Let's see how is Rita doing. Over the period of one year, she learned to work on her close dear relations. She took another year to convince her once thought failure sister and way too simple brothers to start a small caf’e for the sister to make her finances independent. Confident happy mothers are more likely to raise better generations.

Let’s love and empower the people around us with their thoughts and talent diversities. Seeing good in others is an art which grows with practise.

The Casual, Non perfect Food Plate

Nutrition is a long time friend of human hearts. How our forefathers started to eat, cook and gradually developed their taste buds adapted to variety of foods is interesting to know. Having said that, it is good to notice that the changes in taste buds are always possible as needed.  

In the modern age we are going towards perfectly designed lifestyle. Food choices are also changed by the new fast mindsets.  

While talking the nutrition basics we talk alot about the food plate and show the colourful pictures to teach our people. But in practical life our plates are away from these, unfortunately most of the plates are monochrome (single color) 

So what is a daily, casual food plate?

Red portion- proteins & co,

Green portion - veggies and co

Inside a busy mom's kitchen who is working full time but like to maintain her's and her family's health. Nutrition is the basic block of their wellbeing. So is there any hack she can use for daily meals to be proper yet less time & brain consuming. Remind you that we are not talking about perfection but the best to achieve and maintain wellbeing.

This is not an exclusion diet, it essentially covers all the major and micro-nutrients.

It has a solid research behind to say, at present world this plate concluded to be the best for wellbeing. Causing less fatigue and keeping us active for long time by nutrition alone. Helps to cut off those several cups of coffee too. 

Note that we didn't divide the plate with solid portion lines so that the mood food of that day can go here and there, can be a bit more or less , but as they are still portioned, we cannot skip any one of them . 

About the additions, if you are still having space (in plate and in tummy), add on with whole grains like oat, rice and whole wheat. I know several of us has a concept of staple food which is mostly forms of bread & rice. Many of us have not imagined meal without it. Filling up our plates with high carbs in an era of diabetes and obesity pandemic is not a wholesome idea. This is a time to give priority to nutrients over the staple. Wise choices at all ages leads to a stronger and active generations ahead.  

If you get hungry in between meals, snacks are wonderful idea but the plate portions remain the same just changes of the size of plate or you may choose one portion at a time for snack. The snacks without nutrients or unknown nutritional values are not welcome to the plate at any time.

I understand your lots of love about your traditional food & those favourite dishes, you may keep weekend to enjoy them. Also the kids, they are mini version of ourselves, the food not good for us is rather worse for them, give them the whole nutrition to grow and glow in this beautiful world. 

The Group confidence Dynamics

Confidence which we knows is self sufficiency or you may say it personal efficiency.

Talking about " group confidence" today in a special perspective of "a confident Muslim's group is a basic unit of confident Ummah"

That unit can be a workplace team, a family unit, a friendly group unit or any unit doing something positive and fruitful together.

We often see word confidence to start with self. Is this different from what we are talking about today ie non self but a group (collective) confidence? The answer is interesting and that is ‘yes’, it is different.

Let's meet Jameel today who has recently joined a multinational company as an executive officer. He has been told that he has to work in a team of 5 members. Jameel consider himself a motivated and self confident gentleman.

Self confidence is shown in this flow chart and it is very simple to see the cycle.

But he is worried about how the other members of team would be as the performance will not be depending on him now. Team characters and team efficiency will be collective.

Group or team is a unit of people who are having both similar and different characters. The confidence of a group will be seen as a group unit not as individual. Likewise, the successful will be the group (not a person) and if they get failure that also will be for group.

Jameel felt that the group members are good in their works, but he thinks that the team will be not a good place to show his individual confidence, he is thinking that his high level of confidence and talents may be masked under the team work and will not be highlighted as they deserved, what do you think he is right ?

So, why we live and grow in groups and teams, why family unit is the best team of every successful society. Is this of any benefit or just a harm to individuality? as Jameel thinks

Before going to benefits, we will look what we meant by a proper and effective “team”

But very soon Jameel changed his mind when he failed. He failed to deliver something very important, for what he thinks it was only his failure, but how good it feels when no one points out to you but they say that “this group failed”.

His team was all around him for his support and for bringing him out and away of the depressed days. The time was hard but it became easier as he can share his failure, he has people to share his sadness and supporting hands to stand again with lesser pain than expected alone.

We are not saying the team will be perfect or all the team members will be stronger and confident.

What makes the team confidence possible is only 1 major thing.

A reliable support (same in success and in failure)

If we can achieve this in our team- we are going to be always great as the team confidence will be growing high and high which is the basis of all good.

Remember that, every team of Muslims, wherever it is, is a unit of Ummah.

A confident team will be healthy unit to grow and be stronger for Muslims. Confident teams around the world will insha ALLAH ultimately make a confident Ummah.

Think about where you are in your team,

this is time to work on us.